Indifference
by charliepan
Summary: 'For by the grace given to me I say everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he out to think, but to think with sober judgement, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned.' SI OC insert
1. Chapter 1

Indifference, in my knowledge of living, is a chronic disease. It spreads to those around you and allows those people to suffer. It does this subtly with the discretion of any other disease. Like cancer, it mutates the very being of a human and starts to build ugly tumours that are able to spread throughout one's body and eventually kill you, or in this case your compassionate. I have experience in this disease of indifference. So, I would like to inform that this is not about how I died of cancer, because I did not. My death is trivial, but my life was essential. I guess my indifference when viewing life lowered my own value towards my own life. But, do not mistake my death for suicide either. As I have said before it is trivial at whichever or whatever my _mechanism_ of death was.

It is only in the present that I truly regret not being able to care more. Not so much about the people who surrounded my -although they are important- but society in general. I regret not having the heart to want to care for society or my own citizenship. As I have mentioned, do not mistake this for a monologue of regret as that would defeat the purpose of what I want to explain. I never regarded my own life seriously, and unfortunately I never made it to my second decade of living. I was at the point in my life where I was making crucial decisions which I chose to neglect as I did not desire to do so, nor have the desire to worry about my own future or anybody else's. In spite of my insensitivity, I certainly had the opportunity to have a bright future, blessed to me by the century I lived in, and I certainly had the intelligence to achieve with the help of this century, too much intelligence for someone my age. I was ignorant. That is a confession.

I had a lot of time to think, and confess, during the time past death where I was immobilized. Regret would not allow me to progress to where ever I wish to achieve if there is such a place beyond the warmth and darkness I am currently sedated in. Comprehending my ideas that seemed to have churned around clumsily within my own head (presuming that I had one) sparked a revelation of determination and nobility where I vowed to help as many people as possible.

I craved liberation to be able to do this, which was painfully granted to me after a protracted amount of time. I cried. I screamed. I unwillingly expressed emotion for the first time in years as if it was reflexive or inevitable. Despite the crushing pain that came along with these emotions, I was grateful for them. It was a blessing to be able to react to the excruciating discomfort, I revelled in it. _I believe that would make me a masochist. _I was unable able to see or hear once the pain had stopped. My senses were limited other than a certain _perception_ that there were others around me. I would have guessed around three others but I quickly dismissed them as I choked on the air whilst I shrieked. The air itself was particularly clean, unlike the one I was used to before I was trapped in the darkness.

Calming myself was not an easy task as willing ones body when emancipated from an enclosed space and equal amount of pain from the restraint was difficult. I felt as if I was being moved, which suggested was light, or there was something that was able to transport me easily, or both. I squirmed my shoulders and back to try and perceive the _thing_ that was underneath me, however the thing was removed before I could understand it and was then lay upon a similar _thing_. I concluded they were arms that was underneath me as I felt the arms shift to separate then close together as I was securely lay on top of them. Initially, I assumed that I was an infant, one who would not deserve the body of the child that could have been, but I was reminded of the vow I made. My lip obstinately quivered, the lack of control frustrating me, which made my cry once more.

The person who held me flinched obviously, which uncomfortably jostled me and then smoothly rocked me. I was continually rocked and eventually after sometime, I heard muffled coo's of what I presumed was a female voice. I suspected was my mother. I opened my eyes with uncounted hassle, to be met with blur. I assumed this was how a blind person must have felt. I suddenly felt the rocking stop and the woman's arms slacken numbly to the point that I feared she would drop me. She must not have found my eyes appealing, it made me wonder what colour they were.

I felt myself being shoved into a smaller pair of arms as I acknowledge how the presence that was on the other side of the room had rushed to the woman as I felt the air rushed past my face. I was automatically crying but the smaller presence rocked me and took me away after I heard a deep faint voice. The mobility of the smaller person was too fast which made me whimper as we passed through the many rooms. We finally stopped where I felt him lower my down on a soft thing which I inferred was a mattress. I must have been in a crib, where I lay willing to sleep.

The presence caressed my face as they mumbled something undefinable to my undeveloped ears. He brought me comfort that my supposed mother could not bring me, so I let myself become unconscious.

* * *

It was strange. Not being able to do anything, even though I never wanted to do anything with my old life, I still had to do something productive. If felt as if I had purpose. So, this torture of not being able to do anything but sleep was murder. There were the rare occasions when the warm presence would pick me up and move me around the room, but that's as far as I would go, the walls of the room. It was suffocating, it only made me realise how ignorant I was back then. I tried not to dwell into the past however there is not much to think about when trapped inside a room. I liked it when the warm presence was there as he served as a distraction.

Despite the dissatisfaction of having lost any physical or bodily success, I enjoyed learning how to use my senses again. Mobility is, of course, off the table as I would have guessed I was less the two months old. I cannot see anything, no matter how many times I open my eyes (which I can proudly do with ease despite it's ineffectuality). I can however hear everything around me. I like to develop this skill by making a series of baby noises that correspond to what I want. Most babies would do this anyone but they do so without knowledge and I have specific reference for warm presence when I do make the noises.

I constantly listen to warm presence speak or sing or just make entertaining noises that makes me laugh for his own enjoyment, however I think he notices it's fake. He's very perceptive and he seems to understand that I am too. I also noticed that he speaks a foreign language. It was strange, as I was multi-lingual in my old life, it was an unfamiliar concept that I recognised some of the language but not other. My native English was useless with French also deemed useless. It seemed like Japanese and German and it's own individual vocabulary. It uses the German vocabulary with the pronunciation and abbreviation of Japanese hiragana and katakana syllable and sounds, the odd word being either German _or J_apanese origin. It confuses me slightly since certain words in German needed letters or sounds, as well as that I cannot speak German. I was thankful that I studied Japanese.

Understanding what warm presence was saying is difficult, but if it means that I can experience more emotion around him than I will listen intently. The warm presence sounded young, very childlike so I couldn't tell whether they were male or female, and if I was able to estimate his again, then he would be around five or six years old. He spoke slowly but a lot and lovingly. When he wouldn't talk, I thought I sensed him above my crib, I felt like he was just staring at me. I thought the warm presence would be a sibling, so I pretended to stare back, my eyes open without being able to see.

Warm presence was the only person whoever gave me company though. My apparent parents never came into the room after mother saw my eyes. The parents who I had in my old life ignored me due to my siblings so I was used to the lack of tenderness, nevertheless I knew my old parents loved me. I do not hate my parents and I am unsure whether I should or not. I know that they are there, in the house that I am in as I can hear their voices. They always seem to be arguing with warm presence. I sympathised for warm presence for having to argue with the parents who abandoned their child, whilst warm presence had to attend to me, even when they are child themselves.

At the moment I was being held by warm presences as he had the window open, feeling the wind blow on both of our faces. It was calming to have warm presence so close to me with the cool breeze licking at my face, the sun peeking came out in limited streams which suggested that there were trees surrounding our house that was blocking the light, it still felt amazing. It's refreshing and deludes my freedom beyond these bedroom walls. The breeze that I once basked in turned warm and moist. I felt a ghastly presence beyond the window that was frighteningly close to us. I started to break out in tears once more to express my fear in the only way I knew how.

Warm presence hugged me tighter and 'shh'ed me in attempt to sooth my panic. I was shaking as warm presence seemed to only stare at the other bigger presence in disdain. It did nott move, nor talk, just heaving breathing. My smaller body was not adapted for the adrenaline of my fear so the only thing it could do was shut down into unconsciousness. I turned my head with as much force as my young muscles could muster. I opened my eyes to still be disappointed with grey, but the enormous figure seemed to have stopped breathing for a second once I opened my eyes. Then I felt it leave. I heard it's footsteps thunder as it walked. It terrified me that something was that big whereas I was so small and yet I only showed the beast my eyes and it left.

Warm presence took me from the window, and laughed joyfully as he spoke about something, assuming it was about that thing. He fed me, then lay me down in the crib. I was exhausted, a downside of this body, as well as the low attention span. I let sleep take over as warm presence leant against the edge of the crib and stared at me once more, for who knows how long.

* * *

I had gotten used to a chronological and consistent routine, that I didn't mind. I was estimated to be around my fifth to sixth month of infancy, so my eyesight had improved to the point where I could see things within range clearly. Sometimes the images would blur when I was sat up and looking at warm presence up close, which meant that I was long-sighted. So, I usually sat on warm presence's lap to look out the window. I also progressed in their language, to which I understood it at an intermediate level.

Warm presence, I learned was my sibling and to be more specific my older brother, where my estimate of his age was accurate. He liked to repeat his name and speak in third person as to encourage me to say it. His name was one I thought suited his appearance and everything about him, Warin. Meaning 'shelter' in this language. He had white hair which was unusual and made me wonder if we were alike. He had a strong jaw which was expected with still a lot of baby fat, however I could tell he would be handsome when matured. He had the most beautiful blue eyes that seemed to glow whenever he looked at me. When his attention was away from my person though, they seemed dull and tired. So, I made an effort to giggle or do something particularly cute or baby-like to cheer him up.

He seemed happiest when we looked at me for some reason. I noticed when he looked down at me when I was about to sleep that we would look a little too lovingly. Like one would look towards that of their first crush or love. It scared me slightly but I consoled myself thinking that he probably saved that love for me to replace the love my parents had not given me.

I loved to look around the room, to be able to sit up and explore the room with sight. I missed it. I hated just thinking to myself. Most of my thoughts were occupied by the concept of this language, however I made an effort to think and revise in English and French, my knowledge is precious to me, without it I would feel as if I had wasted a lifetime. Hence the reason I revised my knowledge and education in the time I have been here. It certainly keeps me entertained.

When Warin spoke to me, I usually focused on comprehending and memorising his vocabulary. So, initially I noticed how he continued to use a word that confused me, it took me a while to recognise it as my name. He now says it when I gaze at the floor within my own thoughts, he always looks so melancholy when he says my name. Rumilus, he rolls the 'r', with the 'u's sounding like an 'oo' sound, the word itself apparently meaning 'monster' or 'eyesore', most likely christened by my parents that seemed to hate me. He started to teach me how to write and read at this age also, which I think would be difficult for a normal child my age but I was more than grateful to have an advantage. Warin seemed to understand that I knew what was going on and furthermore that daydreaming for me was one of my anathemas, and prevented me from doing so when he continued his lessons.

He understands that I like to learn and he likes to teach, a perfect medium for the both of us. I remember the first time I could see things clearly, that were at a suitable distance of course, when Warin was teaching and I felt a familiar presence behind me at the window. Warin liked to keep the window open for me, which I was also appreciative of. I turned my head and froze. There at our window. My room window, my safe haven. A enormous face, it was look through with giant eyes and a vile grin spread across it's face, cheeks fat and unattractive overall.

Warin stopped teaching to see what I was gazing so intently at. He saw the beast and came behind me and put his hands on my shoulders comfortingly. He pointed at it and I never let my gaze waver. "Riese…," he stopped and thought for a second then spoke once more, still pointing. "Kyojin." I became rigid as I recognised the word.

I remembered now. I would often found my sibling reading that trash that could not class as a book, or watching the animation of Titans despite her age. I always thought she was too old to be watching animations. I would catch the few episodes when we were in our room and I was reading, the screams from this animation always distracting me, forcing me to abandon my education for watching some fictitious, melodramatic deaths. There was one point where she even forced me to read the first edition, well it was barely even reading, there were pictures and speech bubbles that took me about fifteen minutes to read. I thank her for allowing me to witness her obsession. There were bits and pieces of what I could remember, the wall being destroyed. Levi's squad's death (the screams that distracted me). I did not know anything beyond those scenes.

I directly stared into the eyes of the titan and it froze as if in fear. It then moved to leave. Warin laughed once more, he seemed to have said about how I did that before and that they have a strange reaction to me. He said something about my eyes but I didn't understand it that well. I released the tension in my young muscles and turned back to Warin who smiled at me and kissed my nose happily. I smiled back as he continued with the lesson as if that...titan was not even there.

It got me thinking about how far away we must be from the walls to have titans come up to our window. I wondered about the year and whether I could do something to save the lives of people. I want to help. I need to fulfill my vow to help people. I needed to talk, not necessarily grow up, just being able to talk, to ask Warin of the year. I wish to help people. I want to be able to feel the happiness and empathise with others. I am manipulating the human race's failure of this world but I am a selfish being who wants to feel human. Those fortunate humans who are locked up like animals and most probably feel more human than I when I am free.

Warin slammed his book shut to grab my attention. I smiled and nodded in thanks, to which he beamed even further as if I shouldn't be punished for not listening like in a regular school. I love my brother. It is only further evidence of my disease of indifference when I display the love for my new sibling and yet I do not feel anything for my old family. Whom I shall never see, and yet nothing. It makes no difference to me what my old family feel at the moment, but that fully contradicts what I want to be able to accomplish in this world. Thus, I make an effort to care about what Warin feels, since he is the first to be able to make me cherish life and those around me.

* * *

I have been here a while now. Warin said I was six months old, to the point where I could abbreviate his name to 'Win'. That, to my disappointment, was as far as my progress of dialogue other than the babbling that regular babies makes. It makes me feel average. However, the lessons Warin provided increased my self-esteem. I realised that Warin was quite the intellectual genius for his age, our family was fairly fortunate as have not only enough food and nourishment as one would in my previous world, withal our house was quite an athenaeum. The amount of books our parents have obtain was beyond impressive and explains the knowledge of my six year old brother.

He had the intelligence of someone who would most accurately be around the age of a college to university student, around the age that I would have died. I was classed as over average for my age, so the education of my brother was immensely remarkable. After clarifying that I understand the form and structure of this language, he would focus on my penmanship. I, however, failed due to the primitive mobility of my body, so he dismissed teaching me to write for showing and illustrating as much information as possible, with the pace that allowed me to absorb everything. I nodded when I understood everything and he knew that I understood him was having to demonstrate any examples.

He continued onto mathematics and basic sciences. This routine had been settled since I was two months old. I complied with enthusiasm but lately the distraction of my teeth developing had been painful. My infant response was to cry and wail whenever it hurt, but I internally enjoyed the pain. Being able to _feel_, I think Warin was able to see the pleasure in my eyes as he usually ignored my wails and continued to teach. The only time the pain ever bothered me was when my body wished to sleep and the pain prevented such actions. So, I had to deal with staying awake and trying to silence my screams for the benefit of the other residents of the house.

My parents still disliked me and even though knew I was in the room, would avoid the room by rushing past it. Alternatively, ignoring my presence altogether. However, my ability to sense other beings had not diminished, so I knew when my parents would walk past my door, when Warin was about to enter or when there was a titan outside my window that was constantly open. At night, whenever I was in awake due to the pain, I would stare out of the window from my crib that was against the wall. Whenever I did this, I was always pleased that I was long-sighted. It was a problem when Warin would teach me, so that is what he is working on at the moment.

He was currently sat at the desk near the door, with me in his lap. He was placing lenses into the frames after studying the ocular sciences with solutions and materials that could solve my problem, it was surprisingly complex with all of the materials that were needed to make the glasses but he did it. I was always left in awe whenever he did things like this, and was further astonished when he explained the process and his research to me. He finished adding the lenses, and analysed his final product by looking through the lenses and bent the temples to test it's hinges. He was always so accurate, and I constantly thought how he would suit being in my previous world.

He gently placed them onto my nose and adjusted them so I could see through them clearly. He kissed my glabella tenderly and smiled happily at me. He pointed to the object on my nose and spoke, "brille.". He held out his hand, palm-forward in front of my face. He held out four fingers and spoke in his usual soft voice, "knock onto the desk for how many fingers I hold up."

I nodded and knocked four times. He held up two fingers, following with two knocks. Then, he held up both hands and lifted seven fingers, knocking seven smiled further and lifted me up from my axillae and spun me around in the air happily. "You look so beautiful with those on," he stated with a laugh, which made me giggle as I found his laugh adorable.

He sat me down on the floor as he winked down at me. "I'll go get you something to eat, cutie." I giggled at the silly nickname and nodded. He made me so happy, no matter what he thinks of me. He still gives me, what I assume is, my mother's breast milk. I do not know whether I am ashamed to admit that it tastes better than that of what a cow produces. Warin has now allowed me to have solid food that has been blended for my younger digestive system.

He came back with the mashed carrot that was held in a small wooden dish. There was limited objects made from plastics as it was not easy to make even for Warin. I did not wish to move towards Warin as I wish to just walk straight away instead of going through the different stages of maneuverability. He sat down with his legs crossed, the spoon scooping up the carrot. "Open up." I gave him a look that clearly stated my disdain for being fed despite having the capability to feed myself. I refused to do so, to which he frowned at me. "Please...for me…" I sighed and nodded.

I opened my mouth as he spoon fed me. I willingly ate the plain food, but this mouth did not seem to co-operate as I spilt some down my chin. I was about to wipe it away when I felt Warin lick it away. I froze as he grazed my chin with his tongue. I recoiled and looked at him strangely and tilted my head in confusion. He chuckled and smiled at me, "you're so cute, Rumi. I can do that since I'm older than you and I love you. You love me, right?"

I nodded without hesitation despite feeling like he was insinuating something else. I giggled anyway, dismissing his behaviour and ignoring the feeling of worry and fear for our future.

* * *

I now experienced one year of living. I am able to speak fluently but choose to speak in singular word sentences, which was convenient for me as I never did speak to often. I had learnt that babies are able to stand from around eight months and few of those take their first steps shortly after at around nine months. So when I stood up and walked unsteadily to Warin in my eighth month, he became giddy, the giddiness that a boy his age should have as a right. He continued to call me 'his little genius'. Therefore, for around that whole month, I spent a majority of my time standing and trying to walk around. It was unusual that I was developing so early but I think it was this world or maybe the genetics of the humans of this world. I remember when I took my first steps to him, then fell against his legs for stability, he immediately picked me up and spun me around. He seemed to like it when he spun _me_ around.

Warin was now seven and he often went out with our father. I still had not seen my appearance, which I constantly thought about but dispelled it from my mind as there were other things that I focused on. I am able to write in this language and I received multiple journals that allow me to do so. It was difficult when I started to write as my hand-to-eye coordination was still premature by the time I started, but now it makes some sense with my manuscript looking rushed and sloppy. I also remembered to write in English and French about relevant information on what I know on 'Attack on Titan'. It was not much so I filled it with other plans and information that I had learnt from my previous world. I also added information that may have been useful about titans that seem to visit our house often.

I overhear my parents and Warin still argue. I remember listening to them say how they only keep me around because I keep away the titans, and how they probably only stay away because I am a far worse monster than they are. Warin always argues with how I am not and that I am still their daughter.

So, I decided to ask Warin about it. I had awoken from my mid-afternoon nap to see Warin continuously glancing at me from his desks. He was working on a weapon of some sort. I was always interested in the happenings and experiments of my brother as I wondered if I could use them in the future or even make my own. I climbed from my bed and stumbled awkwardly with my cotton blanket held tightly within my chubby hands. I yawned and rubbed my eyes as I looked up at Warin. He cooed at me, "Rumi! You are so adorable!"

I nodded tiredly as I struggled to climb up into his lap, after he helped me of course due to the height. I looked to the weapon that looked similar to an Ōdachi with an aligned quality that resembled a rapier blade. I pointed to the weapon and tilted my head, "weapon?"

He smiled down at me, "I'm making this for you, for when you're older. I hope to make two for you. I already possess many weapons that I use, so I decided to craft you some. I am adding the finishing touches."

The hilt had black wrappings around it with intricate, golden designs that had the simplicity and definity of German patterns. The blade seemed to have been produced from an alloy steel, a strong one by the it's appearance. Certainly, beautiful craftsmanship indeed.

"It's exquisite."

His grin broadened at the compliment as well as the multiple use of words in one sentence. "Why, thank you. I would have never thought that you could use such a sophisticated word, I underestimate you, sweetheart."

I nodded with a small smile, one only preserved for him. "Warin." I started, he looked up from his work and gave a questioning look that urged me to continue. "Can I...have a mirror? I wish to see what I look like." I stumbled over my words and pronunciation as I was still learning, but he had seemed to understand what I wanted. He looked grimly and put down the tools he was using. He turned me so I now had my small legs rested on his legs and he looked down at me.

"Why do you need to see what you look like?" He morosely looked down at my face, into my eyes. I looked past my glasses lense into his eyes.

"I heard mother and father say that I looked like a monster. I want to see." I stated, the indifference clawing it's way back to the surface of my being.

He grabbed my shoulders roughly with a furious face. Looking me straight in the eye, "do not listen to anything they say! Do you understand me! You are not a monster! Do not ever think that! You are the most beautiful being I have ever laid my eyes on! Mother and Father are wrong!" He hugged me comfortingly, which felt as if he was trying to comfort himself more so than I. Whispering that I was beautiful.

I pulled away from him and looked at his eyes. He was crying as his eyes were blood-shot and swollen. I looked at him with a heartbroken expression and stroked his face. "I apologise." He sniffed, and I realised that despite how wise he is, he is still a seven year old boy. I started to cry as that was the only response I was accustomed to. "I will not think myself a monster. I promise." I lifted his hand and wrapped my little finger around his. I smiled at him despite the tears still spilling from my eyes.

He wiped his nose and rubbed the tip of it against my own. "My little genius is such a cutie." He smiled woefully. "I shall fetch you a hand mirror. Do not do anything you shouldn't." He placed me on the floor and left the room. I wiped my eyes as to calm them before I see them, it seems to be the cause of all my misfortune. I closed my eyes and sensed Warin in a room downstairs, my parents were sat together downstairs on the bottom floor also. I concluded that this house had around three floors as we were all too separated to be on only two floors. I then felt a titan behind me, the footsteps clear as it shook the room slightly.

I had long since forgotten to fear the titans as they posed no threat to me nor Warin when I was around. I assumed he killed the beasts when he was out with father. I opened my eyes and stood to turn around. My chubby legs made their way to my open window. The titan was bolder than the others as I moved closer to it, consistent eye-contact the whole journey to the window frame. It just stared back and did not moved. I leant against the frame for support and look directly into one of it's eyes as only the pair was visible through the window this size.

"Hello, titan." My only reply was heavy breathing, silence and waiting. Nothing moved nor stirred nor twitched. We just stared at one another. My eyes narrowed dangerously, the titan seemingly flinching at the hidden threat through the discrete power of my eyes. No words were exchanged until the thing backed away from me and left. My face held indifference once more as per usual when I was alone, whilst I held onto the frame of the windowsill.

Warin came in a second later with the mirror not-so-subtly behind his back. He knelt down in front of me, as I had sat myself down with my back against the wall, my head just reaching the bottom window frame. "I do not want to think of yourself as a monster. Do you understand." He spoke solemnly, forcing me to nod with the utmost seriousness that should not belong to a child of my age.

He brought out the mirror slowly as one would approach scared animal. The silence that I had withheld with the titan had returned with the anticipated hanging off of the walls, oozing from each corner and crevice. He had the small hand mirror facing him and he spoke, "are you ready?" I nodded. He gradually turned it to face me. I looked at myself with a passive face but I now understood how everyone around me seemed to dislike my eyes. No, dislike was too weak. Abhor. They abhorred my eyes. I have been condemned to have these eyes not because I am a monster; physically or internally. I believe I have such eyes due to my corrupt soul. The indifference disease has spread to my eyes, they contradict themselves as they are something that attracts so much attention despite being entities that are so empty. The irises were glowing red around the circumference, the pupil the usual black with that circumference red also. Anything that was in between those two lines of red was a mixture of illuminating orange and yellow combined to make a card shaped diamond within my eye, it's vertices touching the circumference as if it was a cyclic quadrilateral. They were, in all honestly, quite beautiful and yet disgustingly vacant at the same time.

My hair, like Warin's, was pure white and I was paler than him too. It wasn't long, which was expected. My baby fat on my cheeks were prominent and slightly rosy. My lips looked slightly bigger than what would have suited my face but I imagined that would be a desired feature when matured. My head was round, rounder due to my infancy. I looked at my eyes once more, I did not seem to mind them. They symbolised that I was different, their colour representing the future fire that I wish to ignite within them to make them shine more. I was disappointed with the vacant look I was giving myself.

I placed the mirror on the floor as Warin looked unsure and unable to read my expression. "Do you like my eyes? Genuinely?"

He looked at me bemusedly and nodded. "Honestly, they are my favourite things to look at...Rumilus." I was surprise that he had used my full name as I answered quietly.

"Then, I like them too." He seemed ecstatic with my answer as he lifted my up in the air and spun me around. Laughing at how I was happy. I noticed how interdependent we are on each others emotions and opinions. Bonds like this, compatible ones, come around once in a lifetime. So, I giggled childishly at his happiness, which instantly made my own blossom. I love Warin. I love my brother. And he loves me.

He set me down gently as he sat across from me. Smiling like an imbecile. I sometimes wondered whether if he faked his intelligence. I looked up at him and smiled along with him. I then tilted my head once more remembering what I originally also wish to ask. "Brother?"

"Hm?" He answered intelligently, which he knows I despised, and quickly corrected himself. "Yes?"

"Can you tell me what year I was born?"

He looked at me with a perplexed expression which I ignored. "834. Why do you ask?"

I looked at him, contemplating whether to tell him. I trusted Warin with my life, being and soul, but I do not know whether I would be willing to share this piece of information. I entrusted Warin with my care taking so he has a right to know, but I should handle this with care. If I recall correctly, Eren Jaeger should have been born around this time, at least this year. So, that left ten years of planning whatever I wished, along with something of progress-building arrangements along the way. I wish Warin to stay close to me throughout all of this.

"Complicated. Do you want to learn a new language?"

* * *

**Author's note**

**Reviews, Please? I wanted to make this darker for some reason (I guess that is your warning). My god. I wrote this in two days and I felt like I analysed it and the amount of irony, contradictory and paradox in this...**

Disclaimer: Only owner of OC's

-C


	2. Chapter 2

I am four years old now. Four years. I never realised how long that really is. However, it has been nice. I am fluently speaking without thought, withholding my other languages as well as teaching Warin them as well. He can speak each language as well as I can, meaning I have to hide any information that I have in my journals. Warin still has not let me leave my room, and my parents ignore my existence. For the first time in a while, I am content. Nevertheless, I am still human and wish to leave this room.

I have customized my habitat to my favour though. I have a two bookcases filled with many of my favourite books, and due to Warin's insistence, I now own not only more books but dresses as well. They're not all bad, they are comfortable to wear not matter the colour or bows. Warin attached our rooms through a bathroom. I forced him to have many mirrors around the room, I have become a very cautious person due to the sense of presence that seemed to have expanded with age. Being able to see is just a reassurance, so I carefully placed each mirror so I was able to see from each angle.

Warin is now ten, and is growing to be quite handsome. His hair that was once pure white has turned to an attractive ash grey, letting his baby hair grow out into long bangs. His blue eyes seem to have impossibly lightened as he aged and spent time with me everyday. Even after he goes out with father, he makes an effort to come and see me at night. He finished the weapons that he started to make me at the age of one and said he would teach me to use them soon. He was quite the weapons expert, in all honestly, he was an expert at everything. In turn, I learnt everything that he did. Of course, there were some exceptions where we were able to have our own individual talents. He seemed to find interest in any sport they he was introduced. He was intellectually prodigious; he was perfect. I, however, took a more academic approach due to my size and undeveloped muscles. I held a passion for the human autonomy, especially toxicology. I had Warin provide me with the herbs and other necessary plants.

I wished to go out of the room, there were some other plants I wished to study and sample. I felt Warin come upstairs with his usual tray of food clattering with every step. I was sat at my desk with an aconitum sample, using in-vitro methods against my own cells. There were times where I would use non-functioning poisons with in-vitro testing with my own cells, then I insert them back into my body as to make me immune, similar to that of a vaccine. There were times when the poisons were unable to be non-functional, so I had to inform Warin that I was inserting a poison that was operational into my body where he would make sure that I did not die. It was a massive risk for a body so young, but nothing ventured, nothing gained.

I was interrupted by Warin entering. He never knocked, which was surprising due to his constant etiquette, since he assumed that I would be used to him after he cared for me so long. "I brought you food." I took off the latex gloves (plastic being considerably hard to find in this world) and stood from my chair, and nodded to him with a small smile in gratitude. I walked into the bathroom and washed my hands thoroughly. I came out and saw him with his own plate, happily eating on my bed.

He looked up and grinned, placing his food down. "I also brought you a little present. Well, I made it and I heard it tastes amazing." He removed his hidden appendage from behind his back, revealing a rectangular prism wrapped in brown paper. I took it gently, it was firm and could be gripped with bending. It was quite cool. I slowly unwrapped it, exposing what seemed to be chocolate. I was never really fond of sweet things in my old life, and I never had the chance to try it in this one. I smiled brightly anyway, as did he, "happy birthday, Rumilus. It took me ages to try and get the recipe right and even longer to find the ingredients, but apparently, some time ago, woman used to worship this."

I continued to smile and nodded. "Thank you, Win. I appreciate it. Would you like some?" I said as I broke some off and handed it to him. He took it hesitantly as I broke off my piece, I would not want to waste such a once in a lifetime chance to eat something like this. I placed it in my mouth as Warin did his. I 'hm'ed in satisfaction and delight at the taste of the treat, never revelling in chocolate was a big mistake. "It tastes so good."

Warin's face scrunched up in disgust, "I do not understand your able to enthuse. I do not like it. It is too sweet." He swallowed it involuntarily. Smiling at me once more. I tilted my head, but shook it and started to re-wrap the chocolate.

"I am going to save the rest."

He nodded and stood from my bed. He came closer to my face as I sat impassively. He exhaled excessive breaths as if he was nervous. I tilted my head but froze as his lips touched mine, in what seemed to be a intimate or affectionate action. I pushed him away and stared at him with a slight frown on my face. He also frowned as the contact ceased. "Warin?" I left my question open so he could answer appropriately.

"Well, I love you." My heart stopped, breathing out to calm myself. "You love me, right?" I nodded. "And you will always love me, right?" Inclining my head in acknowledgement. "Well, Mother and Father loved each other, and that's what they did. So, when we're older, you and me are going to get married so we can love each other like Mother and Father do."

I shook my head as to disagree without upsetting him too much. "I do not think that is the same as this scenario. Mother and Father have a different type of love than we do, you should ask them about the difference in our love and their love." He openly flinched and looked down guiltily and nodded in understanding.

He took the tray with his and my plate on top, even though I did not even touch my food. He turned to leave but I stopped him, "Warin." He halted as expected. "I'm sorry. However, can we go outside together for my birthday. I want to try and be as athletic as you. I want to be able to defend myself whether you are there or not."

He turned to me and contemplated the idea for a second. He recovered with a smile, "I guess that would be fine. You have to stay close to me though so you are safe."

I nodded happily and moved to my wardrobe to dress appropriately in haste, Warin chuckling. I changed and moved back to my desk as to continue with my previous test, it was quite early to mid morning so I was sure we would have enough time.

Warin came back a little time later as I finished placing the aconitum away. I was excited, the adrenaline had started pulsing through my blood. He laughed, as I adjusted my glasses, he shifted his musket around his shoulder, and two familiar, altered blades around his hips. "Are you ready?" I nodded as he grabbed my hand and lead me out of the room. I analysed and memorised everything of the house now that I had left my habitat. He pulled me along quickly as if he was trying to avoid something. I could not feel my parents' presence and assumed they were out.

Warin pushed the door open and departed. I felt the sun of my face and the wind blowing against my leggings and dress, directly and without the restriction of the window frame. I pulled Warin to a stop as I basked in the nature and smirked at the liberation. "I love it."

He chuckled, "you haven't seen the rest of the danger yet. Besides, we won't be going far. You need to train first. You shall be doing this everyday until I deem you ready to be able to go further than the limitations I set, understood?"

"Yes." I answered solemnly.

"Yes, what?"

I looked confused at the sudden domination, "yes, Sir." I answered passively.

It felt strange to answer accordingly to a ten year old, however I think he assumed that know we were training, he had to be dominant with me as to coerce to do beyond my finest at this. "Good. Now, we should start with your stamina. I'm sure you have noticed that our house is considerably large. I want you to run around the house perimeter at least ten times, the challenge is to run fifteen time. This is just a makeshift route, I shall prepare a real one when you run this. After that we shall focus on anaerobic exercise, where one can improve muscle mass." I felt as if I should say that I knew what it was but decided against it, his expression too solemn for such remarks. I looked to the house deciding that it was not that as big as he said it was. "Understand that I will not go easy on you, so prepare yourself."

I nodded. I thought this body would have not been accustomed to such action, and I expected he meant for me to sprint, so I inhaled deeply and started to run. I wished to accomplish the fifteen laps but I was already becoming tired from doing my first. It only demonstrated how unfit I was which only pushed me further. I knew I should have stretched or else my muscles will be in pain for a while. I persevered to my twelfth lap, exhaling and inhaling excessively to try and intake more oxygen. My legs were burning, my ankles specifically, and I released more perspiration than I thought possibly for such a young body.

I fell to where Warin was standing, his feet in my direct line of vision. "I'm disappointed you didn't make it to you fifteenth." He 'tsk'ed mockingly. "Get up." I lay there for a few seconds until he kicked me in the ribs. "Get up." I cringed in pain (indulging in it also) and his demanding tone and shakily stood up with haste.

I looked at him differently now, I do not understand whether it was admiration or revelation that this is how he truly acts, but I gazed at him differently now and he knew that. He crossed his arms of his chest and spoke, "you will do ten push-ups, _real ones_, twenty pull-ups on that branch." Pausing to point at the branch. "And thirty sit-ups, if you by any chance stop during these exercises, then I shall kick you in the ribs for every time that you do. I shall not heal you after, which I'm sure you can do yourself. As I told you, I will not make this easy for you. Begin."

I could not believe he would do this, but at the same time I could. I realised that this must of been what our father would have put him through, I felt empathy for him at such time. So, I did as he told. I ended up stopping once during push-ups, five times during pull-ups and twice during sit-ups. He kept his word when he said that he would kick me - to which he did not hold back. By the time we had stopped I lay on the floor with at least two broken ribs.

He looked at me with..._indifference._ It made my heart break as I comprehended that he was like me. I felt like these last four years had just been a lie, his brotherly love that replaced that of a parent felt like a facade. It pierced my heart further when he casually walked back inside without helping me. I must have become too dependent. I thought he would be my salvation of indifference, but he urged me to be such. It made me sick.

I stood up despite the excruciating agony my muscles were in, then fell down once more, where I closed my eyes. I tried crawling which still hurt. I was exhausted and movement was unlikely. I then felt the ground shake, indicating a titan was approaching. It automatically shook my body from the floor, and lifted me with it's giant hands. It damaged my body even more, which caused further immense pain. I realised how weak I was, after doing little exercise and now all I was doing was complaining about the pain that I would usually love.

Warin came out of the house screaming in obvious dread at the titan and about to take action until I opened my eyes where I was met with the sight of it's mouth. I spoke to it without fear as I usual do with a virulent tone, "stop." It did so. "Put me down," it did not. I felt myself become irritated to the point where I exerted murderous intent. "_Now._" I slowly placed me down as I looked up at it. The titan took one look at my eyes and became rigid, I just stared at it threateningly until it walked away. I fell against the floor, making impact with my already broken ribs which had now been cracked.

Warin came rushing over to me and held me in a soft hug and started to cry. He mumbled about how he would never leave me alone again, and how he was glad that I was alive, and how he loved me. I started to tear up when I knew that he did care for me. I wanted to move my arms but I felt my consciousness slipping. I gladly let it fall.I later woke up in my bed, wrappings around my ribs. I saw Warin sat on the chair next to my bed. He was awake and staring down at me sadly. Once he noticed I had awoken, his face lit up as he brought me close to him. "Oh, thank God." He whispered.

I stared at him in the mirror unsurely, making no move to hug him back. "Why?" He withdrew himself from my person and stared at me confusedly. "Why did you tend to my ribs?"

He looked confused at my offense, "why? Because yo-"

"You made it clear that I would have to tend my own injured ribs. It was my punishment for not doing the exercises with full efficiency."

He seemed indignant as he frowned. "How can you say-"

I interrupted him once more, "how do you expect me to progress without discipline. I understand why you would put me through such abuse. I expect you to put me through it everyday so I can do things on my own. If you cannot stick to your words then why even bother to train me. Just because a misfortune happened today does not mean that you should make an exception. I expect to be able to continue training tomorrow, no matter the injury." I paused, realising the authority I had no right to have. "Sir." I finished with. His anger had subsided slightly as he looked at me blankly. I put my hand in his and held it tightly, "I just wish to learn."

He looked as if he was having an internal battle. He was silent for a long time. He quietly let his hand be caressed. "Alright. I agree. However, if you do not make the progress that I set by the end of the month, I will stop these lessons, understood?"

I felt relief as I smiled. Nodding, "yes."

"Yes, what?"

"Yes, Sir."

This training continued without delay or disturbance of titans until the end of the month, where I just barely made the progress Warin had set for me. I realised that my body was not one for exercise unless I severely discipline myself. I was allowed past the original radius of my house, to my own appropriate distance of training. I was not, however, allowed anywhere in the house, other than our rooms and bathroom of course, to which I could explore to my own extent of liberty. Nevertheless, whenever we would leave for training, Warin would have to guide me through the house, and only ever directly to the exit. I found this sufficient as long as I got my training, but Warin seemed so cautious when directing me through the house. I assumed he was trying to avoid our parents.

Hence, I stood in front of Warin as he held onto the two blades that he had made for me. They were just as exquisite as I remember, the last time I saw them being two years ago. He held them gracefully as if they were apart of his being. I could only dream of ever holding the blades with such refinement of his accomplished limbs. "Today, I am going to teach you to use your weapons, that I made specifically for your exploitation. They will be heavy, but as you train more you shall get used to them. They are fairly simple to use, they are usually too long for practical use so I shortened them. When using these, you must focus on being able to maneuver them with speed and shifting the weight of the force towards your target, not the sword. I will demonstrate."

I watched as he held the two swords, one in each hand and faced the tall stump, a previous apple tree. There was material strapped to the stump, filled with wool. I observed the material fall from the stump with killer precision, I did not even see him move, I did not catch his arms with the speed he displayed. I was in awe as he straightened his stance. "That was amazing, Sir."

He nodded and handed the blades to me. "Okay. Now, I will show you the proper stance and movement. As I said these focus on speed and alternating force, especially since I expect you to use these against titans." He presented me with the accurate form and action. I found it fairly easy to alternate the force due to my size, however the speed was considerably more difficult as I did not have the strength, my size would usually be an advantage but as a result of the lack of strength, it makes the weapons a lot more arduous to handle. I could cut the material with the same precision and finesse as Warin displayed. However, it took longer than Warin did it.

Warin no stood with his arms crossed as usual when he trained me. I had calmed my heavy breathing as I straightened in front of him. "You seem to have trouble with speed, but I think that can be improved with practice. We will get something to eat and drink, then we'll go further into the forest to practice on a few titans. It also gives you a chance at tree jumping."

I tilted my head in bewilderment. I assumed the name was exactly what it denoted, but it did not seem possible in my mind. I agreed anyhow. I sat on top of the stump as Warin went in to bring out something to eat. I waited patiently until he arrived with the usual sandwich. We had an animal or two to create things like cheese and hunted others for meat.

We ate in silence, the anticipation and adrenaline building up within my stomach to form waves of excitement that clashed against my emotions. Warin saw this and smile, to which I grinned back after taking another bite of the sandwich. I heard giant stomps but ignored them as titans usually ignored this place now, the presence clearly leaving before it appeared.

After finishing, we both stood, brushing ourselves for any excess crumbs and straightened. Warin looked at me with a cocky grin that I had not familiarised myself with yet. "Are you ready?"

I nodded confidently, as he stared at me with a hint of pride. True; I had only trained for a month but titans were never a true threat, mobility was the only real reason to ever train. I followed Warin made it to the edge of the clearing where the trees began to accumulate. He then crouched down and put his arms behind his back. I hesitantly climbed onto his back rather ungracefully and wrapped my arms around my neck. He jumped and somehow made it to the branch, then continued to the next. I glared at his head, I did not like how he was doing something so illogical, he should know better how this defies everything we learn. It pissed me off. I do not accept myself swearing but this is pushing my belief that my brother is human. I know he is though. He's too perfect. That also pissed me off, I was envious that I would never believe myself to be able to move like this without the help of equipment, as he must have had to go through much training that I would most probably struggle with.

My anger subsided as I felt the wind calming me, soothing my emotion as if reaching them through my face. "I do not wish to practice tree jumping, at least not yet. I find it difficult to do average training, I am not as adapted for such activity. I will continue with just my speed and stamina when running but tree jumping is not something that I find possible or logical to pursue. I apologise."

He glance from the corner of his eye and nodded, we had travelled for half an hour now. I was looking around for any titans, taking off my glasses to be able to see further. I could feel titans coming from the the west, quite a few. "Go west." He nodded once more, obviously more silent when travelling out here. He must be more terrified when he is with father since I do not think he is able to stop titans as easily as I can, he must fear for his life when he is out here without out me. I wonder if that is why he stays with me, to manipulate me.

I felt the titans go nearer, but panicked as I felt smaller more human presences, a lot more than should be around. I felt Warin advance closer to them, making my heart beat faster. I cannot defend myself from humans. "Warin! Stop! There are humans!" He continued, my distress increasing as I held on tighter. He stopped on a branch where I could see titans chasing a troupe of humans riding horses. It was strange to see them here. I quietened my voice to a whisper, "Warin, who are they?" I had some idea that they were who I think they were, especially with a familiar oriental being.

He placed me down and stared at them as did I. "The surveillance corps. Or reconnaissance corps. They are from inside the walls that trap the cattle, but these are curious sheep who wish to leave their fencing. They come around at least between six month intervals to a year. It's a shame a few of them die." I watched as the titan continued to chase them. An abnormal.

I turned to Warin who only stared down passively, not moving to help. I couldn't help but feel a pang in my heart as I watched one of them die. This is where I fulfilled my vow. I took the swords from my back and threw them to slash against the titans neck with accuracy that I never knew I could have had. It fell down, shaking the tree. I grabbed Warin to steady myself and looked up at him. "Can you take me down there and pick up my swords without being seen? I want to help them." I stared pleadingly, he looked at me apathetically before sighing and nodding. He grabbed me and sprinted down the tree, landing in front of the horse riding ensemble, and bounding off of the terrain before being seen.

The group stopped. The titans becoming unaware to them as they stared at me. I had my eyes closed as not to scare them, but I could feel the titans advancing towards us. I opened my eyes quickly glancing towards a man with diamond blue eyes that rivalled Warin's, and the man with blue eyes also which resembled that of silver, their hair completely opposite. The former blonde; latter black. I stared into the eyes of the titans which caused them to stop.

"Leave." I let the murderous aura exit from my every pore. They stood there still to the point I was becoming impatient. They never seemed to heed my first command. "Now." I raised my voice slightly, where it did not seem as threatening to the group as I was four and only a child. The titans turned to leave as they group gawped wide-eyed and frightened, yet grateful.

I then looked to the blonde man that I took no effort to remember the name of in my old life (of course, I probably would never have made an effort to remember Levi's without the obsession of my sister). "You should not be out here so recklessly without proper knowledge on how to live outside of your fences." The blonde man held eye contact without fear, which I admired him for, as I saw a hint of offense in the eyes of the oriental man.

"What would a child know about living outside the walls. I bet your parents left you out here before getting eaten after leaving the safety of the walls." I glanced to Warin, who looked darkly at the random man who insulted us.

"You have just witnessed my method of survival, sheep." I heard Warin chuckle as I took his description of these people too literal. "And with all due respect, Sir, I have been born and breed way beyond your walls. Also, if you thought you were so safe inside the walls then why are you here?" I glared dangerously at him, which made him flinch and shut up.

I placed my glasses back on and turned to the tree that Warin was on. I started to walk away before the blonde man spoke. "Excuse me, may I ask, how old are you?"

I turned to glance at him cutely, childishly, "four, Sir."

A few of the members blushed, the blonde man looked passive, "let me introduce myself. My name is Erwin Smith, thirteenth commander of the survey corps. This here is humanity's strongest, Levi. What is your name?" He was slightly brazen but I understood that he only saw me as a child. I looked at Levi and nodded in greeting. I did not understand why he thought it necessary to introduce him though, I inferred that he meant to use him as a hero to attract me of sorts.

"Rumilus. It means 'monster' or 'eyesore'. Also, with regards to your tone and babying idiolect, I would appreciate it if you refrain from talking in such a way. You should not underestimate me because of my age. However, I am not undermining you, Commander Smith."

He seemed shocked and Levi seemed amused. Then Erwin spoke once more, "my apologies, Rumiruse."

"No, Ru-mi-lu-s. You roll the 'R', express the 'u' with an 'oo' sound, and use 'l'," repeating the 'l' sound for clarification. "Ru-mi-lu-s, Rumilus."

"Rumilus." I nodded when he said it correctly. "Rumilus, would you like to return to us to the walls. You could learn to help us and you would be safer." I think he said my name once more to exaggerate he knew how to say my name.

I shook my head, "I appreciate the offer, Sir. However, I have a home. I, also, plan to help you anyway, just not yet and from this side of the wall. Safety is not an issue as I have my brother. My parents ignore me but are still there and I am their key to avoiding titans as I am the only one to be able to repel titans with my eyes. Moreover, I would not be accepted in your feared society as they do not accept anything different from their own appearances and ways." He seemed to agree with me, with a regretful look. I watched him express a variety of emotions. "You should be lucky that you get to experience so many emotions. I wish I could." He and Levi looked empathetic as if they understood. I knew Levi could. "Win. Can we go home. I already killed the titan with the swords."

He came down from his spot, the swords in hand. He placed them on my back where I struggled to stand at the new weight, before collecting myself. He looked towards the survey corps and nodded in respect. "You should leave because they minute she does, the titans will start swarming in."

Levi seemed angry at Warin as he picked me up, "so, you and your shitty parents are manipulating her. Pathetic."

Warin looked angry at Levi's insult. "How dare you! I agree that our parents are shitty as they ignore her. However, I love her and wouldn't dare manipulate her. I love her more than life itself, she's gonna marry me." I frowned at his proclamation in disagreement, the group looking disgusted as that must have understood that he was my brother. "So don't you dare say that we manipulate her. You cowards can't even handle yourselves outside of your fences that you don't even know about. No wonder I never help you on your expeditions. You're all pricks-"

"Warin." I cut him off shortly. "You should learn respect your elders. I apologise on behalf of my brother, he is a genius but is still only young, as am I. Now, if you'll excuse us. We wish you safe journey. Come on, Warin." He glared at the Levi before turning and leaping away, leaving the group confused at his skill.

We travelled in silence, avoiding any titans on the way and making it back towards the training ground that was our house garden. He placed me down and stared down at him in indignation, whilst I stood perfectly aligned and staring back at him without expression. However, in that next second I did not comprehend how I had end up on the floor until I registered that my cheek burnt and Warin was looking down at me harshly. He had slapped me. Warin had never abused me before, which displayed more shock than can be explained. I stayed on the floor for a few minutes before I stood and stared back at him, ignoring the swell of my cheek.

He looked down on my with disdain before realisation hit him. I clearly saw the regret on his face before he became impassive. "Rumi, I'm sorry. But, I don't want you speaking to those people."

"I do not believe that is up to." I saw the anger appear on his face. "You do not understand my dream. We are all humans and we have a source that allows us to work together as a race; the titans. I wish to manipulate these beings to help the humanity as much as I can. Whether it be helping them to kill titans or to provide food that they are unable to have. I understand your reluctance to accept them but I have faith in them, and I have the liberty to do and fulfil whatever I want or wish. I understand that you care for me and I do you but you have to let me do what I want at my own discretion. I will appease you in whatever way I can as long as you grant me this." I said sternly.

He stared down at me and I was unsure of what emotion he was displaying. He then knelt down and wrapped his arms around me. "Oh Rumi, you say things like that and it makes you sound so much older than you are. I want you to be able to have a childhood, I'm sorry for hitting you. I don't like you using the word 'appease' as if I'm younger than you, so if I let you do what you want to help their humanity then I get to stay by your side, and you by mine, forever, okay?"

I moved away from him then nodded with a smile that only belonged to Warin. He caressed my cheek as if it would wipe away the violence and then he kissed my lips again, to which I moved away and spoke. "Come on. I'll race you inside." I laughed and ran as he followed.

He, of course, reached my room before I could. I giggled as he scooped me up and threw us both on my bed where he rolled around and tickled my sides as he roared like an animal. I pushed him off as I landed parallel to him on the bed. He tapped my nose, my eyes following the movement. I enjoyed moments like these where my emotion was genuine.

I sat up and looked in one of the mirrors, fixing my hair. I then peered at my eyes for a while. Warin only settled on the bed and looked at the ceiling. I continued to stare into them, before closing them and imagining them to be as azure as Warin's. I opened them once more to see them blue. I stopped breathing as I thought I was only conceiving them to be blue for my own benefit but they were. They were blue. Of course, I noticed they were not as beautiful as Warin's but they were normal. I close my eyes and opened them to see the usual red and patterned eyes that I was accustomed to. I repeated the process of changing my eye colour and left them blue to show Warin.

"Win! Win! Look! I can change my eye colour! They can be blue like yours or red like normal!" I could feel excitement run through me as I thought of seeing my parents without the worry of their rejection. Warin glanced at my eyes causing his to widen as he looked into them.

He seemed sad. "But...I liked the way your eyes are."

I beamed at him as I started to bounce childishly and unintentionally, I blamed this body. "I know. I know! I do too! But I am going to go see mother and father!" I rushed out of the room hastily. Ignoring my brother's commands of not to go.

I ran through the house into where I would usually feel the presence of my parents; in the kitchen. I pushed the door open as I practically shouted at them, "Mother! Father! Look-" I halted in fear as I witnessed the spectacle before me. There they were. Two rotten corpse sat at our kitchen table hand in hand. They had gone through all stages of death and looked as if their skeletons had been burnt. I noticed both wrists had been broken, the ribs had be bent to turn inwards and their jaws were held by what little of what joints were left to keep them attached to the was dried blood on the floor and table between the two that had obviously been there for a long time. I did not move nor speak as I stared between the two.

I jolted, stopping the quivers that had danced their way through my nervous system, when I felt hands clasp on my shoulders. I felt moist breath against my ear with a whisper, "I'm sorry, Rumi." Warin spoke sweetly and with an edge of malice. "But I had too since they disagreed of my love for you.

* * *

**Author's Note**

**Disclaimer: I do not own attack on titan/shingeki no kyojin. Only my oc's.**

As I said, I wished to take a darker approach so I tried. Ha! I made Warin a murderer because I can!

-C


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

My constricted eyes glanced to the side where Warin's face was intrusively close to mine, his cheek softly grazing my own in what would seem intimate. I did not dare take my eyes of him, nor his eyes off me. We both waited for each others' turn in some sort of twisted version of chess, our eyes betraying the strategic thoughts and scenarios that we were preparing to react to as if about to decide who would win. Neither of us knew what we were supposed to win or how to do so. However, neither of us were also ready not to lose. I felt obligated to make the first move, one of poise and all the dignity a human could muster in this situation. I slowly lifted my hands to his that laid on my shoulders in a tense grip, slowly peeling each of his fingers off of me and taking a few paces away from his figure. He straightened to his full height in response and stared. Both of our movements were reluctant and strained.

My throat was clenched painfully that rendered my speech to be hoarse, "W-Warin." I snuck a glance to my once living parents before settling that glower on Warin. "Warin...You...You have gone too far." His passive face transformed into one of antagonism and he hissed in disgust whilst advancing slightly, to which I moved backwards.

"Excuse me." His frown depend in an unattractive way that took away his beauty. "I did this for us. For our love. For you!" He exhaled slowly as to calm himself and sat down at the table. I looked at him with disgust as he disrespected the place of which the two corpses of our deceased parents. "You don't realise how much they despised your existence. How they slagged you off in front of me and how they told me of your worth as a human. When I told them of our love, they didn't agree. They abhorred the idea of such purity and how our love was righteous no matter our blood relation."

"Warin!" I interrupted scornfully. "Do you even realise what you are saying?! This idea of 'our love' is seen as socially wrong! Consanguinity relationships such as this one you seek is out-dated and ancient. First degree 'love' like this is seen as universally forbidden!"

"What does it matter?!" He now stood in an intimidating way, causing my retreat behind the corpses of my parents. "Love conquers all. You told me we'd be together and that you'd be mine! Where did that go?! I love you so much. Why can't you accept my love?!"

This is when I became indignant and made the ambiance shift expressing my mood. His clouded delusion of love was becoming a major problem. "Because it is wrong! I do not love you!" My eyes returning to the familiar red with an almost malicious, murderous glow.

He froze in shock. I observed his expression that forsaked every raw emotion that he felt. He turned his back to me, his hands balled into fists that shook and trembled with restraint. I could not comprehend what he was restraining, however I did not wish to have such emotion exposed. Emotions are like radiation, the risk is either irradiation or contamination, but both will cause pain which I wished not to bear. My muscles became rigid and I slowly reached for my throwing needles that were delicately attached to my forearms. I watched as he placed his hands onto the kitchen side board and held onto it strong enough to create indents.

I readied the needles; fully understanding the strength and power of my dearest brother. He exhaled in a forceful way as I scrutinized his movement and analysing his muscle tension. I prepared for his strike as he turned to face me. What I was not expecting were tears that trickled down his tears. It was obvious of his intentions, adrenaline made his eyes wide and muscles tense, nonetheless he did not move. He just weeped. It made me truly realise that he was still only young; too young. I gradually moved around the table and corpses, never lowering the needles but cautiously stood in front of his hiccuping form. The resonance of his breath alternated with the clank of my needles, but I embraced him anyway.

"Why? Why don't you love me?" I heard his voice rasp out.

"Warin...I do not feel that way for you. To be blunt, the thought of sibling love is sickening to me. But, it is okay. You're an amazing person and you will find someone equally as amazing as yourself. You're perfect, it is why you were loved so much by our parents. I...I was envious of the amount of attention they gave you and you took their affection for granted and killed them. You cannot solve all your problems by killing them. It is wrong. You'll find someone just as perfect as you-"

"But, you're perfect."

"I am not. Not for you. We're not compatible."

"We are though! I love you! We're so close and we think alike. Our intelligence is matched, prodigies, wisdom way beyond our years! You told me you love me, so compatibility is not a problem!" He broke away from me as more human raindrops fell from his love clouded eyes and crouching down to my height.

I placed both of my small hands onto his face, completely dropping the needles before speaking, "I am not right for you. Yes, we're both intelligent and we think alike. And I do love you." I saw a glimmer of hope that I knew I must distinguish quickly. "But, I love you as siblings do. I know how you feel. I know how much it must hurt. However, I will not understand or empathise just because you are my brother. I am sorry for showing you the hardship of rejection this early but if I let you continue, you would only hurt more and I do not want that." I kissed his forehead and lingered there. "Do you understand?"

I felt him nod as he embraced me once more. "I forget that you're young since you sound so old."

"I know. You say that a lot. I forget you're young too."

He chuckled and placed me on his lap, gazing at me in an affectionate way. "I guess our presence in each others lives make us forget a lot of things. It's ironic how we have such a romantic effect on each, yet you don't want that. I understand when You say my love for you is wrong.

I smiled at his cooperation, "however, I don't want to stop. Nor will I aimlessly give up. That's not like me. So, I want you to know now that I love you more than my life and following lives to come." He placed me on the floor and walked out of the room. However, not before halting at the door frame to smile at me, the smile unnerved me as it seemed so….incomplete.

* * *

Eight years I have been alive since my death. My skill has improved immensely due to Warin's training. My expertise has developed on the subject of herbology, how it affects human anatomy and other botany this surprisingly more interesting and extensive than one would think. Of course, Warin has matured and advanced as well, our knowledge combined would be one more satisfying than that of an antediluvian man. Let me not be too pretentious, I hold great respect for my brother, no matter his flaws. He, in turn, accepts my flaws too. Flaws being a human standard and that is not socially acceptable, which is ignore by us who are not even apart of a society. The incident that happened years ago; forgotten in favour of a better future. However, only deities can hold such philosophies, the past cannot be disregarded by me so easily as my previous life has guided me to be the person I am today.

Enough on the matter of the past though, I do well not to dwell on such trivial matters. My training seemed to have opened many a viewpoint for me,since my body seems to have certain limits that my old shell had not bore. I realised a few months prior to my fifth birthday that I had asthma, not something I am quite familiar with experiencing. When I did though... it felt as if a butter knife had been thrust into my 'I-can't-believe-these-aren't-functioning' lungs, giving the knife a terrific and constricting twist. It feels amazing. I am also easily triggered, meaning that this pain becomes more like neighbour visits that we could never have. So, medicated oxygen was required and it was not easy to obtain. This is coming from the child who somehow caused titan to go into cardiac arrest through the insertion of actaea pachypoda (do not play with this plant unless protected and an expert).

So, at this moment, I am currently marinating my throwing needles in hippomane mancinella, deadly. I have been doing so for the last few days, preparing to be more exact. If one to be precise, I am packing for a journey to the walls. There were some complications recently with Warin. He left. I do not know where he went nor do I know why, his disappearance happened around three months ago. He became more intimate as he aged, in everything he did: training, eating, social interaction and even sleeping. I understood his feelings for me but never encouraged, he understood himself more too, he was a growing boy going through the stages of puberty in becoming an adult. Then, he just left, leaving a note, kissing my forehead and walking out. I was not worried as I knew he could handle himself, so I am taking his departure as a virtue to begin my plan of moving to the walls.

I had just completed the last of weapon set. I placed them in their located position indentations and closed the briefcase. It was thickly made of an alloy steel that contains every single one of my poisons as well as the throwing needles, a few daggers and the two blades specifically made for my use strapped to my back. I had grown tall even for them to not reach the floor when attached to my figure. I also had a few pairs of glasses and containers of medicated oxygen in the case as well. My clothes were held within a duffel bag, the odd book in there, slung over shoulder. I entered the kitchen, avoiding the corpses that were recklessly left there as a reminder of Warin's deed, the reminder being his punishment. I grabbed some food that would not deteriorate so quickly and placed them in a smaller drawstring bag attached to my small hip. I sat at the table and just stared at the two that were once my parents.

"I'm sorry for not being the daughter you wished for." I paused as if thinking that they would object, "I am not ashamed of the person I turned out to be though. I show you no compassion when you were alive, and I still won't show it now. However, I would never curse you or swear revenge on you for the years you ignored me. I do not mind that I did not meet you, I may have wanted to in the past, then you could've seen my eyes." I flashed them for effect as if they would react. "You gave me the name Rumilus. I had a previous name, but you named me Rumilus. You began my life here with that name, so I thank you for that and wish that you have had an easy journey in death unlike mine...Mother, Father." I placed some flowers by their intertwined metacarpals and phalanges. I placed a stone with my respects upon them, leaving an incense burning and giving prayers in all of my spoken language for the god that they believed in to give them peace through my request despite my disbelief.

I slowly stood and left. I looked upon my house once more and bid it farewell. "If Warin comes back, house, make sure you look good for him." I continued on with my travel. I saw no point in running or rapidly rushing when I saw no threat. Through the many years of training, I knew these woods like my poison collection (expertly). I would stop at certain points for a few breaks, knowing this journey would last me until nightfall, not reaching my destination until then. I saw a titan walk past as I was sat on a rock, stopping to gaze at my form longingly. I smiled somewhat and waved, of course, it did not return the gesture but it inclined it's head somewhat and continued on it's path. I only ever got the odd few titan that disobeyed me and tried to eat me, even then I could make it stop. However, most never even attempted at all by this point, they knew I was a threat. The journey was long and I would have made it faster without my luggage and constant breaking at the possibility of a new plant (which was later recognised). The sun did not help either. My white hair, that did not turn grey like Warin's, would somehow become even more bleached.

However, a titan unexpectedly came trampling up to me, jumping down face first with a roar, trying to eat me in a whole. I jumped up the nearest tree, remembering to take steady breaths, unsheathing the blades and come raining down upon the mighty beast's neck. Slicing fluently as if from a dance all along the titan as to immobilise it further. The blood burned me in a euphoric way before evaporating quickly before I could bask in the pain. "How rude." I sheathed my swords before landing next to my luggage and picking it up, not even glancing back at the corpse of the titan.

I continued at a faster pace to make up for lost time and eventually made it to the walls. I was lucky for it to be night as the barricade of titans had calmed but still stood, sluggishly scraping at the walls, relentlessly in a way. I walked slowly to them and transformed my eyes, "ahem." The titans stopped their actions and stared at me with wide eyes and grins. Releasing murderous intent, I narrowed my eyes causing them to part for me. I have never had the experience of a titan lifting me of their own accord or my asking. I turned to the nearest fifteen metre and gazed at it as if it knew what I wanted it to do. To my perplexity, it lowered itself to my level with it's hand held out. In normal circumstance, one would not simply enter a titan's hand, but I did so in hopes of experimentation and further knowledge. It lifted me, close to it's mouth, by which point I readied myself to jump but froze as it's arm extended beyond it's head. The titan had lifted me further up the wall then I had expected and kept me there.

"Thank you," smiling down upon it as I made my way up the wall. Thankfully, the darkness gave me full cover and I was not seen by the garrison guards above, my daggers digging into the wall. I smirked, imagining the look of those 'wallists' I had heard about from Warin. He told me he snuck in the walls once and his journey was one of boredom.

Making it to the top was slightly difficult when having a storage filled case and bag hanging off the blades on my back. So, once reaching the top, I let out a sigh of relief and lay their for a second before hearing the bellowing laughter of drunken men coming my way. I noticed the cannons scattered perfectly along the wall and hid behind one of those as the intoxicated men stumbled past me. _These are the people they rely on to protect them, the sheep sure have a gullible naivety, don't they?_

The walls were lined with primitive fire candelabra, withholding the torches securely. The flame contained securely still allowing light to spread somewhat. I stood from my crouched position, my erect status allowing some relief to my muscles. I begin to walk the opposite way to which I saw the garrison guards leave. My shoes made short and sharp clacks against the stone, but obviously not loud enough to advertise my presence. Not that it would matter; the guards were too intoxicated to notice much. I casually made my way through an arch that I assumed lead to a stairway. However, when strolling through the doorway, I felt myself bang into a pair of legs.

Now, as I had said, I was tall enough for my blades not to reach the floor, however I was still considered 'vertically challenged' for someone my age. So, when colliding with this unknown entity, my face had landed directly into their crotch. The person froze, as did I until I took a stride back and glanced up to see a certain commander glancing down at me. Two companions standing by each of his side who each had tense postures. Fortunately, my face was slightly concealed with my blue eyes showing with a scarf wrapped snuggly around my mouth and nose. My body was equally as tense as those reflected from me and my heart rate was increasing by the second. I either had two options that would not arouse suspicion. Number one would be to feign abandonment or loss through crocodile tears, or escape them the old fashioned way through violent/not-violent deceit.

However, both options were void when he spoke. "Hello, little one. May I ask what you're doing on our walls?" His deep voice was warm but held so much power, he even knelt down to my height. "I hope I didn't hurt you in anyway." I saw his eyes wander to my bags that seemed too expensive for an orphan to which I brought the metal briefcase slightly behind my body from prying eyes. I knew Erwin was intelligent, all the more reason to be cautious around him.

"I am fine. Thank you for the concern, Sir." My eyes trailed to Levi and another person who I did not recognise. They were a brunette with square glasses with thick lenses. They had a sharp features that made it hard to tell what gender they were; not that it mattered either, they were still a threat.

Levi glared at me before he spoke in a stern and condescending way, "hey! Answer the commander when he asks you a question and make eye contact. Don't be so disrespectful."

My eyes held indifference at his scolding before my gaze returned to Erwin's. "Don't be so harsh on the...boy….girl...kid, Levi. I'm sure they're just lost and scared. Erwin can be pretty intimidating" I saw the other person hit Levi playfully before coming to my side and kneeling down by the side of Erwin in front of me. "Are you lost, little...kid?"

"I am female. Yes. My mother told me to bring my father something to eat, but the guards told me that he had left. I was just about to leave." My tone was apathetic and unconvincing. I placed a certain adorableness on my face like a mask and looked to the spectacled one, "what is your name?"

They smiled kindly, "I'm Hanji Zoe. I'm a squad leader of the survey corps."

I assumed that children were supposed to be amazed by the survey corps titles so I felt obligated to express this for the sake of concealment. "Awh! That is amazing! I wish my father was a cool survey corps member like you, but then I would miss him too much." They chuckled and then glanced at Erwin who was smiling warmly too.

They nodded to each other before Erwin spoke, "well, why don't you follow us and we'll show you the way out?" I nodded excitedly at the offer as they straightened. I held onto the hand of Erwin and grinned at him, which he could only see from my eyes that had become squinted. They took me down the long staircase that was extremely steep which made it difficult for me to step down in big strides like the commander and squad leader. Levi followed confidently and silently behind us and monitored the surroundings. I was thankful for my cloak being rather large which in turn hid my large twin blades effectively. My eyes changed from blue to red as I analysed everything visibly attainable in my area, I slid my glasses further up my nose as we walked. We continued to walk until I was somewhere unrecognisable. It had dawned on me that they never even asked where I lived. I was tempted to rip my hand from his grip and run except I had them surrounding me.

Hanji was in front, Levi behind and Erwin had a firm hold on my right hand, my dominant side. The possibility escaping without causing too much attention was low, especially with the amount of luggage on my person. I smirked and closed my eyes as I walked. I did not expect anything less from soldiers. I reopened my eyes as they returned to blue. We entered a rather large building that I could only assume was their headquarters. I feigned confusion and awe at the building's rooms that were nothing compared to my original house from outside the walls. I felt ashamed at my failure of entering the walls and being caught so quickly. If it were not for them, this would've been so much easier.

I was taken through many rooms until we reached an office, supposedly Erwin's. This is where it begins. "Mr Commander, um...Sir." His attention turned to me as he sat down and I stood lamely in the middle of the room. Levi leaned against the wall and Hanji sat on the opposite couch. I hoped my nervousness was present and believable. "I-I thought you said that you would take me home…"

He hummed thoughtfully before gesturing to the chair across from his desk. I took that as a sign to sit where I struggled for show. I held my briefcase tightly to my torso and adjusted my glasses further up my nose. "Yes, of course we will." He laced his fingers together and rested his elbows on the desk before peering into my eyes. This is the first time I had felt intimidated, truly. If I had not had my glasses on, I do not think I could have handled his intrusive stare. "But, first...You're going to tell us why you were really up there on the walls and why you lied to us."

It was an order, not a question. His authority was astonishing and unwelcomed. I looked down in a guilty way, "it was a dare from my friends." I whispered in between deep breaths to suggest anxiety and culpability.

I heard footsteps from behind me and saw hands slam down aggressively onto the desk, forcing myself to flinch which was harder than I thought when making such a natural reaction seem persuasive. "Stop the bullshit!" The one I recognised as Levi scolded contentiously. My eyes trailed from his fairly large hands to his eyes. He could not see my eyes which made me feel victorious in some kind of folly of lies that was created within my own inner immaturity.

Erwin spoke which broke that delusion of triumph, "we'd appreciate your cooperation without you being so cromulent. So it's better if you stopped lying."

I lowered my head and contemplated my options. It was difficult to anticipate their reactions as they were so passive and astute; a threatening combination. I guess it all came back to one decision and two moves. Lie or telling the truth. I circumspectly lowered my hood and blandly scrutinized the commander's reaction for any type of identification. Lying would have been too much in my position of barely anything on this side of the wall. I tilted my head to the side and brushed a haughty smirk across my lips. "Hello again, Mr Smith. It is a honour to be speaking with you again."

His eyes held no emotion other than authority in a very subtle way. "Hm. Yes, I recall meeting you behind the walls. My apologies however as I have forgotten your name."

I felt my eyebrow twitch at his ignorance. For the first time in a while, I felt genuine irritation of which I would not mind presenting with such rare tendencies. How did a man of his acuity so easily forget my name after having to enunciate it with him at least three times? "It is Rumilus! How could you forget when I went through it many times with?!" My offense was obvious and he understood that with a sheepish smile that forced my caution.

"Ah, yes. Well, Rumilus is a foreign name to us here and not so easily remembered with such difficult pronunciation."

"Excuses, excuses." I pouted slightly having not being used to these types of people who were genuinely smiling without some cynical reasoning.

This is when I noticed Hanji stand up from their position and come close to me. They invaded my space by forcefully twisting the whole chair round and coming close to my face with an expression of pure pleasure. I had honestly never felt so uncomfortable in my whole life, especially with someone who seemed so much like myself. "You're from outside of that walls. So, what's it like? How do you survive? Have you lived there all your life? Do you have titan samples in that briefcase?" I swear with each question their face drifted closer to mine, and it seemed as if they was experiencing some sort of meeting with an ethereal being. I did not think that I could get further into my chair, it was almost painful as it dug further into my neck.

My expression of discomfort was evident with each inch of distance I lost. I cleared my throat before shakily speaking, wall humans are slightly frightening. "The outside walls are better than in here, I feel safer because I am more familiar with there. I survive through my eyes and rarely killing titans. Yes, I have lived there all my life and no, I do not have titan samples in my briefcase. In here are my weapons and poisons as well as some spare glasses and medicated oxygen."

The mention of weapons had Hanji stepping away from me and Levi had placed a guarded look in his eyes. The air became tense as they seemed to recognise me as not some adorable child. I simply chuckled coyly before smirking and turning to Erwin, "you should not worry. These weapons and poisons are not for attacking people as long as they do not attack me."

This time Levi spoke out in a demanding voice, "so what is the medicated oxygen for then?" He spoke in a restrained way.

This time, I blushed. I was quite insecure that I had asthma therefore self-conscious about telling others of the medication or inhaling it in front of them. I sighed quietly and avoided eye contact, "w-well," that is probably the first time I have stuttered. "You see…," I could see the impatience in his eyes and felt even worse. "I have asthma!" I blurted out rather loudly and quickly covered my mouth in shame before turning me head. "I have to inhale it or else I will not be able to breathe, I do not like telling others and would even go as far as saying that I am embarrassed about my condition. It is just that…"

"It is not something you have to be embarrassed about. You can't help it. If you need to take medication, then you're better off taking it than dying over not taking it." Levi spoke softly this time which was surprising but his voice was still rather rough.

I nodded in gratitude. "I am easily triggered which became something of a hurdle in my training where I have to constantly be careful I do not push myself."

I looked to Erwin who was staring rather intensely at me. I had never been in a situation where I had felt so much genuine emotion all at once. If it was Warin, I would have to feign some emotion however this was completely contradictory to that. These people made me feel vulnerable, like my only option was telling the truth. I did not know where I liked it or not. It felt rather refreshing to be able to feel, despite it being unwilling and quite exposed.

"You trained." It was more a statement than a question as if that one factor could affect his whole thinking process. I felt like I needed to answer the unspoken question anyway.

"Yes. I had to be able to deal with titans somehow. My brother, who you were previously acquainted with, was a magnificent weapon user and blacksmith. He learnt through my father and my brother taught me. Some aspects of his training differed from mine. Such as tree jumping." I was met with confused looks as to encourage me to elaborate. "Tree jumping is a skill that uses one's strength and energy to be able to jump at a further range, mainly higher up a tree or between trees. I did not think it was safe or logical and therefore never learned. I progressed in botany where I developed poisons for our weapons or in general, it also allowed me to study different types of herbology including medicine where then branched to a full medical study."

"I don't believe you could've learnt all that at the age that you are." Levi frowned as he spoke, I turned to face him to challenge his assertive glare. I could not exactly be truthful about such subjects of philosophical existence and how mine is just a lie to this world. I shall not abdicate such travesties of my reincarnation. I shall not falsely give myself such omnipotence.

"I grew up with a perfect brother, literally. He raised me despite being so young himself. I had a certain...comprehension from a young age and being a child, my brother, my guardian. He seemed exuberant to teach, it was the only fun he ever had considering that his teacher, his father, was so illiberal. One way to put it." I chuckled slightly at my wording. I noticed Erwin seemed to raise an eyebrow at not referring to my father as my own, yet I could not have the heart to respect him like that. I adjusted my glasses before speaking, "Warin taught me from a young age about weapons, it was only when I turned about four years of age, I began physical training that Warin was also put through. This was also around the time that his father demanded more of his attention, so with all the extra time on my hands I began to study independently. I have been doing so for four-nearly five years now." All this talking was beginning to tire. I yawned and covered my mouth in politeness.

It's so late, I wish I could sleep. Everything was silent for a moment. They all seemed to share knowing looks with each other; reading each others minds like true comrades. I guess this was where they decided on my verdict. This is taking too long, I want to sleep. "If I may, I would like to make a request?"

That brought the attention back on me, "I shall allow you to continue."

"I wish to help humanity and I am willing to do and give whatever it takes. However, I do not think that at this age that it is legal for me to fight titans alongside you. I would not particularly want to use 3DMG either." I muttered with a sneer at the last comment, training seems like too much effort. "At the moment however, I would like to offer my medicinal services. Whether I stay within the walls or trail those who are injured during the action. Either I hope to heal or even save lives." I saw nothing of his thoughts through his expression and it took even more silence before I felt more impatience. It was strange that this one man had made me feel so much emotion in such a short amount of time. He certainly brings out the human side in me.

I smirked as I thought of that before I escalated from my chair and picked up my luggage. "I shall give you some time to think on my offer. Until, then-" I yawned once again. "I am so~ tired. I am going to find a comfy pavement to sleep, I doubt innkeepers will serve an eight year old." I laughed louder at the thought of an innkeeper throwing a hissy fit. I stopped though in shocked of my action before smiling peacefully. I looked up at Erwin with soft eyes, "heh...my human side, indeed."

With that I exited the room, maneuvering my way through the route that was just taken. Once I departed from the building I gazed up at the sky boredly before rapidly navigating between the buildings. I did not know exactly which district I was in, yet it did not matter when I plan to follow the survey corps. I retired to a nearby roof. It was tiled with uncomfortable commonwealth concrete tiles, not a suitable place for sleeping but I would be damned be I slumbered on the floor. My gaze returned back to the night sky, stars that glistened so brilliantly like no light in this world could ever comprehend as humans. I guess that is why people envisioned heaven to be located in the sky, the stars' natural glare was almost celestial to our cognizance. Light pollution was really a hindrance in the old world. My attention turned to the other houses that probably accommodated for many loving families. They seemed so scattered and outdated yet even their layout was family friendly; the kind of 'let our kids play since our neighbourhood is so familiar with each other'. It must have been nice for people to live like that.

I then started to contemplate how the soldiers would indulge my service, I can just predict their reluctance and prejudice due to my age. Humans should be able to look upon each other with equal standard, value and rights; being so enclosed will influence this though. Sighing, I lay back and tried to position myself pleasantly where I rested my arms behind my head as a cushion. At the end of the day, I am helping them though and they cannot prevent me from doing so when it could cost them their lives. I believe it will take a significant amount of patience to earn their trust but that is to be expected for cautious sheep such as this society.

I yawned and savoured the peace of the night. Lowly crickets hummed their nightly tune that harmonized so well with the humidity and warmth that encouraged their melody in the first place. I felt my eyes begin to droop before leaning my head against my luggage and shifting once more. Concrete was the least complacent material to be able to sleep on. I listened indolently to the rare hushed voices of the illicit citizens who went about their nocturnal business, rarely leaving my idle attitude to actual discern what they were talking about before they continued to walk on with obnoxious laughs and disgusting smells that wafted through the ambiance of the torridity. This was not the perfect vision of how a child would spend her first nights in the walls trying to sleep but it was surprisingly enough to allow my exhausted eyes to drift.

* * *

**Authors's note**

**This one's kind of short but I can't have them all 10k words long or else I'd waste your lives. It may seem like I just skipped a load of Rumilus' life but I like it when you find about an OC's past throughout the story so...Ha! I can do that.**

**Hope you enjoyed it and review ^^**

**Disclaimer: I obviously don't own shingeki no kyojin but I do own my OC's.**

**-C**

**xx**


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